Review: The A-Team (6/10) - 2010: I Pity The Fools

Remakes are dodgy territory in my opinion, especially a series I grew up watching and loving. The cheesy one-liners, BA's susceptibility to drinking milk to get on a plane, Hannibal's cigar-smoking smile, Murdock's perfect insanity, and Faceman's seductive skills, coupled with flipping cars and bullets that never hit anyone were what made it such a phenomenal television show. So here is how I discovered this new film even existed. I was sitting in the cinema waiting to watch Inception, and the trailer for this film came up. I sat there with my head in my hands, to the point of breaking down in tears as to how they ruined a perfectly respectable show. The characters did not fit those I knew and loved: Mr. T is irreplaceable for one thing, and the new theme tune was nowhere near as good as the original.




Here's a tip to all you directors out there who want to produce a remake: Don't deviate too much from the original, or face the backlash! At least keep the theme tune from the original! I mean fair enough, in one section of the film they use the original track, but be consistent and use it in the marketing too!

The story centers around a group of Iraq War veterans looks to clear their name with the U.S. military, who suspect the four men of committing a crime for which they were framed. The group consists of Colonel John 'Hannibal' Smith (Liam Neeson), Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck (Bradley Cooper), Sergeant Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus (Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson), Captain James 'Howling Mad' Murdock (Sharlto Copley) and also Jessica Biel as Charissa Sosa.

Watch the following trailer to see what I mean:



Flying tanks and general ridiculous storyline were one of the main reasons I did not go to the cinema to watch this film. In fact, I was on a five-hour British Airways flight on-board a flight from Cyprus, back to the UK. Unlike the more modern Cyprus Airways planes I normally fly on, I thought I had stepped back in time onto a plane with shared 16" isle box televisions. "Fair enough," I thought, as I was sure they would have a better selection of films on BA than on Cyprus Airways. I opened the entertainment guide and hey presto... The A-Team. 5 Hours stuck on a plan with no entertainment but this 117 minute pathetic excuse for a remake. I mean, I'm FAIRLY sure it was the Vietnam war, not the Iraq War where they met, not to mention BA usually wears tonnes of gold chains claiming that he "ain't gettin' on no plane," compared to "chopper". I was annoyed but thought I may as well give it a go.

You know what? Director Joe Carnahan actually did a decent job. I have no qualms in saying that the storyline was pathetically poor, as was most of the acting aside from Liam Neeson (as always), and newcomer Sharlto Copley (who is possibly the only person on earth who could possibly immitate Dwight Shultz' version of Murdock). Liam Neeson was as effective as George Peppard (who sadly passed away in 1994 with lung cancer). I thought "Rampage" was quite poor, but there seems to be this considerable trend in that wrestlers/cage fighters seem to think that they can act when they get the chance (aside from Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and Steve Austin who are showing considerable signs of improvement). I have a gigantic crush on Jessica Biel, but recently I think she's been a bit wooden as an actress... but don't worry Jessica, I still love you. Bradley Cooper has been getting all the breaks since his hit film "The Hangover" (2009), and he does quite a good job of imitating Dirk Benedict's Faceman.

Overall I have rated this film 6/10, because as a stand-alone film, I did find myself really enjoying myself as it unfolded. I think the charm of ridiculous scenarios, coupled with a bit more violence and grit than the original, was a welcoming addition to this version. I do feel that it was totally unnecessary to show how the group met for the first time, as everyone knows that they were a unit. In a way it was nice to bring the story forward a few decades, but would have been nice to retain the original recordings of the narration and theme tune. Finally, I think that if I had never grown up with the original series, I would have enjoyed this a lot more, but simply because it was not the same feel as the original, it does not beat its charm and wit overall. I guess "I ain't gettin' on no BA Plane" to Cyprus again!

Review: Horsemen (6/10) - 2009: Riding Into Twists And Turns

Despite looking like a bemused Gordon Ramsay lookalike in the poster, Dennis Quaid in fact pulls off a solid, powerful performance throughout this 90 minute crime thriller. Produced by Michael Bay and directed by Jonas Åkerlund, this movie offers much potential and provides well in certain areas, yet it can be mentioned that it lacks disappointingly in others.



The story follows Aidan Breslin (Dennis Quaid) as a detective who has become increasingly distant from his two sons after his wife died of cancer. The chain of murders are based upon the Biblical prophecies surrounding chapter six of the Book of Revelations that include the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse described below on par with the movie:

The White Horseman (Pestilence) - The white horse of the apocalyptic four may represent polar qualities of evil or righteousness, depending on interpretation. Some interpret the rider of the white horse to be the Anti-Christ, whereas others believe it is Jesus Christ himself.

The Red Horseman (War) - The rider of the second horse is generally held to represent War. The red color of his horse represents blood spilled on the battlefield. He carries a great sword, which represents battle and fighting.

The Black Horseman (Famine)- The third horseman riding the black horse is called Famine, with the colour black also being a symbol of the dead.

The Pale Horseman (Death) - The fourth horseman, usually said to ride on a pale horse, is explicitly named Death. Of all the riders, he is the only one whose name is easily distinguishable. Generally, he is usually followed by Hades (Gravedom). The color of the horse has been translated as "ashen", "pale", or "pale green".

Aside from the Biblical references, Ziyi Zhang, most notable for her roles in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and House Of Flying Daggers, pulls of a phenomenal and scintilating display as Kristin, an adopted daughter of a murder victim. Prior to this movie I assumed that she was unable to speak any English due to the nature of her previous movies being purely in Chinese, however she performs very well from this point of view.

I have wouldn't be suprised if Lou Taylor Pucci, starring as Alex in the movie, will be awarded a few more contracts in the near future. Despite looking almost identical to a younger Mark Owen (from Take That), his role as disgruntled teenager working as a stand-in father whilst his real father works all day and night is amicable, not to mention some later scenes in the movie. In fact, the majority of the actors and extras performed very well in the movie.

It can be noted that the movie's soundtrack was extremely echoey and of poor quality, not to mention very average in terms of musical composition. The music volume often matched, or was higher to those speaking during scenes, often ceasing for no reason, which was extremely off-putting.



I noticed that this movie had similar characteristics to Se7en (1995); perhaps in style of writing, ending technique, or biblical references such as with Se7en's 7 Deadly Sins concept of death by gluttony, greed, sloth, envy, wrath, pride and lust, taken from Roman Catholic Virtues.

I've rated this movie a 6/10 because whilst the film sends you on a rollercoaster ride of twists and turns as the story unfolds, there was something missing from the almost too-sudden ending. This blog is described in a way so as to encourage movie-going/renting and purchasing where possible without ruining plot-lines and endings, so forgive some sections that may appear lacklustre in detail.

So without giving too much away, in my opinion, the script could have included a certain therapist into the script to provide further substance and depth to the outcome of the movie, along with more of a detailed scenario about what would happen next. This is the reason that this particular movie did not perform to the full potential it initially held whilst watching it.